Defy or Deny?

Today in sixth period discussion we spoke about our feeling towards Gogol. Every person either felt sympathy or frustration towards him. At one point in chapter eleven, Gogol ponders how Moushumi really feels about him. For a moment, he thinks to confront her, he then backs out admitting that “even thinking about this question makes him afraid” (271). A few students condemned Gogol for his wimpy nature, and inability to confront his problems…

So many times in my life someone has told me to just, “get it all out”. I have lost count of moments where a parent or friends has pressed, “It is not good to keep things in all the time”. Sometime I spill and sometimes I do not, but I cannot identify a difference in the outcome. During discussion I could not help but think most times I am not afraid of the answer, I simply do not care. On a typical day I probably ask at least one person, “Are you okay?”. Whether out of genuine concern or in awkward response to a gloomy expression, I always ask. Nine times out of ten I hear, “nothing”, “I’m fine”, or the common “I don’t want to talk about it!” Once in a while, however, I come across the one person who has just sat waiting for someone to ask. They pour their heart out to me about problems with a boy friend, or a failed test. I nod intently, but have absolutely no personal interest in the matter. Thank goodness not a lot of people speak so freely about their issues, otherwise, I potentially could have 365 of other people’s problems hanging over my head each and every day. I would consider myself a pretty normal person, so, can anyone else identify with this? I would feel horrible if I “got it all out” only to hear a “that sucks, see ya” in response. But really, I know that’s what people think, because I do. I can’t help a girl who cheated on her boyfriend on vacation, get back with her boyfriend. No chance I can help someone pass a test they already have failed. So I think realistically, sometimes we should all just, “keep it all in”, or grab a journal and spill it all out in private. I can say from experience, putting your problems into words only opens up doors for those words to get twisted. For me, if I am really upset about something, or in a position where I am scared of the truth, I write letters. I have never actually given one of my letter to the person I write to, they just stay in a box. Everyone has a way for dealing with things. To criticize people or character’s such as Gogol, for not freely speaking his mind to Moushumi, is just not realistic. I find it great that everyone has a unique way of overcoming situations and relationships, and interesting that others try to push their strategy. In the end, do people really care?

The picture posted above, acts as a creative interpretation of how I feel. Sometimes just keeping quiet and letting time take over can prove successful, sometimes detrimental. How can we ever know if we don’t try?

Women: Change You're Last Names!

How important is it for a woman to take on her husband’s last name, upon marriage? My class touched on this briefly earlier this week. In Chapter eight of The Namesake, Moushumi does not take on Gogol’s last name, “Ganguli” (227). Not only does she not take on his name, but, “the thought of changing her last name to Ganguli [had] never crossed Moushumi’s mind” (227). It bothered me that the only people we got to hear from in discussion, answered no to the importance of the tradition. I have to disagree. I feel that if two people marry, and the woman does not take on the husband’s last name, she’s going into the bond with a fear of how the relationship will turn out in the future. How so? Well statistically, woman that get married younger tend to change their last name, and woman that marry older do not. The older and later married woman reason they have an entire life in their own name, in a personal and professional sense. Moushumi did not take Gogol’s last name and her jumbled priorities, between work and her spouse, have now brought her into a secret affair. I would go as far as to claim the lack of women taking on their husband’s last names, mirrors the increasing divorce rates. How could it not? When two people marry, they jump head first into an entirely different lifestyle living together. Why not put a label on that togetherness! The common last name, ties together kids with their parents, and those parents with their parents. What if the kids take on the father’s last name and the mother does not? That mother, by name, has not entirely sacrificed what all necessary of her previous life, to become a member of her new family. One of the families I babysit for, the mother kept her last name. The instant I met her, I thought she must have gotten a divorce. Why else would her and her kids have different last names? I found out, she writes, and kept her last name to maintain her profession under the same name as in the past. Whatever the reasoning for woman, rebellion against tradition, or a long lived profession, I think taking on the husband’s last name trumps any circumstance in importance. Renaming one’s self upon marriage signifies the newly formed alliance and togetherness of the couple. In Moushumi and Gogol’s situation, they quickly and blindly fell in love with the idea of one another, but not actually each other. Moushumi did not change her last name despite Gogol’s silent wish, and now as we read on, they grow further and further apart.