The following two remarks from discussion on Tuesday, I cannot seem to let go of:-1. “Who appreciates everything everyday in life?”
2. “Happy times don’t cause us to reflect as much as negative times do”
In my attempt to address both, I am looking back at the journal I kept in Africa this past summer. The journal dates July 8th- August 6th summer 2010. I wrote two times a day each day, once while volunteering in HIV/AIDS orphanage during the day, and once at night to reflect on the day.
Journal entry from July 24th 2010:
I am going on day fourteen without a shower, and nothing but water to drink. My energy is so low and sleeping in the tent has really affected my back. Is it okay to be really upset about this? I didn’t want the other kids to think I was super high maintenance, so when I was alone today I cried a little bit. It was during my quiet time and I was at the well. Suddenly a boy from my group, Gideon came over. I described to him through motions why I was upset, “I am just so dirty” I repeated over and over. He laughed at me and motioned back how he thought I had been bit by a snake. I stared at him, and then I laughed. I had a mirror in my hand because my plan was to wash my face with the well water. He snatched it from me. I could not quite figure out the look on his face, just overwhelmed I guess. After a few awkward minutes of silence, Mama Margaret walked over to the well. She spoke English very well and translated what Gideon was telling her. She told me he had never seen himself before, how he was “so beautiful”, he showed Mama Margaret and she stared at it as well. Gideon would have never asked for something from me, but something in me forced my hand back out giving him the mirror. He started laughing and ran away to show his brother. I just want to sell everything and move here. Mom and Dad, if you ever read this, I love you so much! Thank you for our house and my car and my shower and bed. I feel sick to my stomach right now for being so selfish and rotten this whole time about all of these things. I’m not saying once I am home I am not going to shower anymore, but every time I do I’ll be forced to think about these people who never have. How can they be so happy when they are so dirty, and poor, and hungry? I miss everyone but I really don’t ever want to go home. Who knew I would ever want to be dirty, sleeping on a floor, plugging my nose to eat food, instead of taking daily showers, sleeping in a bed, having every and anything in the world to choose from for each meal. I am already dreading goodbyes. I am scared though, last night was a full moon and the witch doctors were out chanting all night, and you could hear the baboons in the trees. Gideon went to the witch doctor for a big cut on his foot, it did nothing. I just want to take him in and give him all the wonders of the world, but it seems that he has more than I do.
The people that appreciate everything in life every day of life are the people that have close to nothing. How could we in America be thankful for every single thing we have? It would surely take me a lifetime to go through every single toy, meal, family member, outfit, pair of shoes, haircut, and shower, and be thankful for it. For me this idea that “Happy times don’t cause us to reflect as much as negative times do”, I twisted around in my mind. Maybe sometimes the moments we learn from are not as negative as we think they are. In Africa for example, it wasn’t that I overcame anything, but I literally convinced myself that not showering, and sleeping on the floor, and eating the food was normal. By the end of the trip, I craved the food, joked about not showering, and embraced the pain gained from sleeping with 9 other girls in the dessert. We just need to stop making everything so black and white, right and wrong, and live life for what it is life. We mature as we grow, and right our wrongs, what else can we do but be grateful for the blessed life we live?
Wow did you really go to Africa? Thats's pretty cool. It reminds me of my travels to China, Costa Rica and the streets of New York City and seeing all of the oppressed people. However, I disagree that happy times do not cause us to reflect as much. Doing volunteer work in Costa Rica proved as a very positive experience for me. It made me happy to paint schools, teach kids English, and plant gardens for poverished schools and communities. However, as I worked I thought about how much good I was giving back, what kind of person I was, and what kind of people lived this way. I still look back and reflect on the trip and still view it as a positive and happy experince.
ReplyDeleteI was really surprised when I read this, Carly. Not many people go through the realizations you experienced, so it's definitely something to be grateful for. I went through a similar experience when I went to help rebuild a home in West Virginia, and it has changed me. I doubt it was as extreme as what you witnessed, but similar nonetheless. I think everyone needs to go through this type of thing, because it's very humbling.
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